Family Survival Roles

The characters depicted above represent some of the roles often played by members of a family which is being negatively impacted by addiction

These roles are somewhat fluid
      ·        they can change over time

They are not based in gender

·        males or females can play any role

They may be impacted by culture

·        the behaviors may be more overt in some cultures more covert in others

These roles are not performed consciously

·        family members do not realize they are playing a role they think they are being natural

A person can play multiple roles

·        for instance the “scapegoat” might sometimes play the role of “mascot” the “hero” today could become the “scapegoat” tomorrow

Birth order may impact which role a child plays

·        first born children often play the “hero” role

·        second born children are more likely to be cast as a “scapegoat”

·        the youngest frequently perform the role of “mascot”

·        middle children are more likely to fill in as a “lost child” than older or younger siblings

Family members cast in these roles believe they have to play them (actually they believe they are the role which they are playing)

·        the “hero” believes he (or she) must surpass others at everything he does

·        the “scapegoat” believes she (or he ) will never be treated fairly nor appreciated

·        the “lost child” believes no one will ever notice her (or him)

·        the “mascot” believes he (or she) must either entertain others or seek their sympathy in order to get by

The biggest problem with these roles is that people play them throughout their lives

·        “Hero” children may grow up to marry addicts as adults they may continually try to rescue others

·        “Scapegoat’ children may grow up to become criminals or addicts themselves

·        “Lost child” children may grow up to lead unfulfilled mediocre lives and may suffer depression or retreat into drugs or alcohol

·        “Mascot” children may never truly grow up instead becoming infantile adults demanding the attention and care of others

Healthy individuals have the same traits but they are in balance

·        they can act heroically when heroic action is called for

·        they can risk retribution (being scapegoated) when it is right to confront malignant authority

·        they have humility and need not always be the star of the show

·        they do not hide their feelings but are not overly sensitive they can be playful and spontaneous